Dear William: September 2010

Dear William

Other month has passed (okay and a few days) and if it is at all possible you are more precious to me each and every day. There are moments in the day were I want to continue holding you, and the only reason I don’t is that I know that it’s better to put you in your cot to sleep or very unsafe to cuddle you while daddy drives us home.

With each day that passes your eyes become clearer and a little more blue. Your eyes pop when I dress you in blue, when we are stopped by strangers (which is at least once to twice a week) they always comment on your gorgeous eyes. When we visited Nanna and Pa this month they said that you had the same eyes as me when I was a baby and that was the reason why they use to call me possum. But I think you have penguin eyes.

A little while ago I decided that I would decorate your room with a jungle theme. And while I started on this, I hadn’t made any great progress. However this month I managed to turn your boring light into a something a little more special.

Light shade attachment that I brought from Aldi to make-over

All finished

With the light turned on

To date the only time you have ever left my side or I’ve left you, has been either while you were sleeping or while your dad or grandparents have taken you for a walk. It’s not because I haven’t wanted to but as there hasn’t been a reason too (you are my shadow). As the footie year drew near to the end and Collingwood looked more and more like they might be in the grand final I started to express and freeze milk in the off chance that they were. The time has now come and I’m now mentally having to deal with the idea of leaving you with someone else. The last few days I have been debating this issue with myself and talking it over with your dad. I’m looking forward to getting out and enjoying something without the worry about looking after you, and every time I think that I instantly think our selfish that is and that you are my responsibility. I love you and looking after you is such a special gift, I feel like I’m being such a bad mother for even contemplating the idea. But a number of people, including your dad have said that we need time out as a couple every now and again as well as the fact that you will be looked after by people that love you and that you will never remember that I left you to watch a football game. And the last thing your dad keeps saying is that one day you will tell me off if I didn’t go and see Collingwood win the 2010 premiership and I would never be able to relive the stories year after year.

I’ve also lost my voice now; right at the time you have decided to talk nonstop. It’s so hard to want to talk to you for you to talk back to me. I hear have conversations with your dad and while it’s such a joy to hear it makes it so much harder for me. Luckily it will only be for a day or so.

Below are some of the things we got up to this month.
· 9 weeks – You smile and give silent giggles to us. You did your 1st 10hrs between feeds. We had to bath you for the 1st time due to an explosion in your nappy
· 10 weeks – You now put both hands in your mouth when your concentrating on filling your nappy. Had your immunisations
· 10 ½ weeks – You enjoyed the Gymbaroo demonstration at mothers group. Went on our first road trip (just the two of us) to Nan’s and Pa’s.

Resting with Pa

· 11 weeks - I completed my 1st lot of freelance work since your birth
· 12 weeks – You now generally have 2 dirty nappies in a row and the rest are just wet in a day. We went to our first Gymbaroo session
· 13 weeks – You now enjoy sucking your thumb and pointer fingers on your left hand